Harvard Professor Leslie John on the Surprising Skill That Makes You More Confident and Influential

Most entrepreneurs think influence comes from certainty.

They believe the most powerful person in the room is the one with the sharpest answers, the cleanest pitch, and the least vulnerability.

But according to Harvard Business School professor Dr. Leslie John, that instinct may be exactly what’s holding people back.

In a wide-ranging conversation about confidence, communication, trust, and decision-making, John a behavioral scientist and author of Revealing the Underrated Power of Oversharing argues that one of the most underrated career advantages is the ability to open up strategically.

Not recklessly.

Not emotionally dumping on people.

But revealing enough of yourself to create trust, connection, and influence.

For founders, creators, leaders, and ambitious professionals, it’s a powerful reframe.

Because in business — especially in the early stages — people don’t just buy products.

They buy conviction. They buy clarity. And most importantly, they buy trust.

The Real Cost of Staying Guarded

One of the most striking insights from the discussion came from a statistic John referenced early in the conversation:

“76% of the things that people regret in life are the things they did not do — the things they didn’t say.”

That number lands hard for entrepreneurs.

The startup world rewards action, experimentation, and speed. Yet emotionally, many people still hesitate to say what they think, ask for what they want, or reveal uncertainty when it matters most.

The irony is that withholding often feels safe in the moment — but expensive in the long run.

The founder who never asks for mentorship misses the relationship.

The employee who never shares an idea stays invisible.

The entrepreneur who hides behind “professionalism” struggles to build genuine customer loyalty.

John’s research suggests that strategic openness doesn’t weaken influence.

It amplifies it.

Why Oversharing Builds Trust Faster Than Perfection

At Harvard Business School, John teaches executives and high performers — many of whom initially resist conversations around emotions, vulnerability, and self-disclosure.

Her approach is practical.

She starts with business outcomes.

Because the research is surprisingly clear: when people share slightly sensitive or personal information, others are more likely to trust them.

That trust creates stronger relationships.

And stronger relationships create opportunities.

For entrepreneurs, this matters more than ever.

Modern audiences are deeply skeptical of polished branding and performative expertise. Consumers, employees, and investors are increasingly drawn toward people who feel real.

That doesn’t mean founders need to broadcast every insecurity online.

It means authenticity has become a competitive advantage.

A founder admitting they struggled before finding product-market fit is more relatable than pretending success was inevitable.

A leader acknowledging uncertainty during difficult moments often appears more credible — not less.

Trust grows when people sense honesty.

And honesty usually requires some level of emotional risk.

The Best Communicators Aren’t Always the Loudest

One of the most nuanced parts of John’s perspective is that communication is not about permanent openness.

It’s about flexibility.

During the conversation, she explained that the best “revealers” are not people who constantly overshare.

They are people with what she calls “disclosure flexibility.”

In other words, they know when to be deeply open — and when to be appropriately guarded.

That distinction matters.

A lot of advice around vulnerability has become oversimplified. People hear phrases like “be authentic” and assume they need to reveal everything.

But effective communication is contextual.

Strong leaders read the room.

They understand timing.

They recognize that trust is built through intentional disclosure, not emotional chaos.

For entrepreneurs, this is an especially valuable skill.

Pitching investors requires confidence.

Managing teams requires emotional intelligence.

Selling customers requires relatability.

And navigating all three requires knowing how much of yourself to reveal in different environments.

The founders who communicate best are rarely robotic.

But they’re also rarely reckless.

They’re adaptive.

Emotional Intelligence Is a Communication Superpower

Another major insight from the discussion centered around emotional awareness.

John explained that many people lack the emotional vocabulary necessary to understand what they’re feeling — which directly affects how they communicate.

That disconnect creates problems in leadership, relationships, and decision-making.

People who cannot identify their emotions often miscommunicate them.

Stress becomes anger.

Burnout becomes disengagement.

Fear becomes defensiveness.

But entrepreneurs who learn to identify emotional patterns gain an advantage.

Why?

Because communication improves when self-awareness improves.

John described a simple framework:

• Are you feeling good or bad?
• Do you feel energized or depleted?

Even basic reflection like this helps people better understand themselves.

And when founders understand themselves better, they become more effective leaders.

They communicate more clearly.

They react less impulsively.

They create healthier cultures.

In fast-moving startup environments, emotional intelligence is often treated as secondary to execution.

But in reality, communication is execution.

Teams break because expectations were unclear.

Partnerships collapse because difficult conversations were avoided.

Customers leave because trust eroded.

The ability to communicate with clarity and emotional awareness is not a “soft skill.”

It’s infrastructure.

Confidence Comes From Openness, Not Performance

One of the deepest ideas underneath John’s work is that confidence is often misunderstood.

Many people think confidence means projecting certainty.

But real confidence may actually look more like honesty.

Confident people can admit mistakes.

They can ask questions.

They can reveal imperfections without collapsing.

That’s why strategic openness feels powerful.

It signals security.

People who constantly posture often appear less trustworthy because others sense the performance.

Meanwhile, people who communicate with grounded honesty create psychological safety.

And psychological safety is magnetic.

This is especially relevant for early-stage entrepreneurs.

In the beginning, nobody has all the answers.

Every founder is learning in public.

The entrepreneurs who build strong networks are often the ones willing to say:

• “I don’t know.”
• “I need help.”
• “Here’s what we learned.”
• “Here’s where we failed.”

Ironically, those moments often build more credibility than polished success stories ever could.

The Entrepreneurial Takeaway

The biggest lesson from Leslie John’s research is not that entrepreneurs should overshare indiscriminately.

It’s that communication becomes more powerful when it includes humanity.

In a world full of carefully curated personal brands, genuine openness stands out.

People remember honesty.

They remember emotional clarity.

They remember leaders who make them feel understood.

For wantrepreneurs and founders trying to build influence, the takeaway is simple:

Stop treating vulnerability like weakness.

Used wisely, it becomes one of the fastest ways to build trust, strengthen relationships, and communicate with impact.

Because the people who move others are rarely the ones pretending to be perfect.

They’re the ones willing to be real.